President Obama Speaks to Our Youth: Education is Key to the Future

"Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is . That's the opportunity an education can provide."

~President Barack Obama, September 8, 2009

President Barack Obama gave a speech yesterday addressing students (pre K-12) about the importance of education. The President's back-to-school address was broadcast to students all around the country. Apparently, this message to our youth caused a great deal of discomfort and anxiety among many because a mass out pour of naysayers arose from the depths to shout in opposition to our President’s speech. This was said to be out of fear that he had some hidden political agenda to overpower and brainwash the minds of our children. The fear that our children would be deceptively pulled over to the socialist dark side known as the left became so strong that parents went to such lengths as to yank their kids from school for the day to prevent them from viewing the speech. That’s not all. Political right-wingers bombarded the airwaves with deception and half-truths, aggravating the paranoid delusional hysteria that was propagating throughout our society since before President Obama took office.

When I heard about the backlash that was occurring prior to this speech, I was anxious to read it and to know why so many people were in an uproar. When I finally read the speech I was flabbergasted. I was absolutely flabbergasted because the President, our President delivered… a wonderful, poignant message to our children that resonated not only the importance of education, but of personal responsibility, motivation and resilience. In his message, he also reinforced to our children their self-worth and their potential to do great things if only they put their minds to it, that education was the key to their futures and the future of our country.

So I ask… can someone tell me, what is wrong with this message? Are these words not something that we want our children to hear from the leader of OUR free world? And, where is the respect for the leader of our country, for the office of President of the United States? How does it look to outsiders looking in when we have schools who refuse to show broadcasts of their own President? We have had Presidents who have given messages of this type in the past, some with political agendas, and I don’t remember such blatant disrespect.

Some are saying that it was not the speech per se that upset so many but the lesson plans that were given to the schools to use in the follow-up with the students. Personally, I think that some people are looking for any reason to complain, protest and gripe when it comes to this President and his administration. No one can honestly believe that these parents who removed their children from school for the day were worried about political hypnotism and indoctrination. The President’s speech lasted for 20 minutes. What teachings did they miss for the remainder of that day? Where was the concern for their education? This was not about the kids; this was about the parents and their inability to prioritize and choose what was best for their children over their own personal biases.

It does make you question the true motives behind the irrational behavior of some of our citizens; was this just a political thing or did race play a factor, too? I am one who is very leery about using race as an explanation for inequality in this day and age, but let’s face it, racism does still exist. I think it would be naïve not to think that, with the first African American president, that race did not play a role in some of the more irrational opposition that he faces. What is ironic is that these same people stand up waving the American flag and yelling patriotism at the top of their lungs and then turn around and snub the President.

The President's message was not some secret indoctrination of our children into a socialist regime. Nor was it an undercover plot to systematically win over the children of America so that they would become mini-Obamas. This speech was, simply stated, a back-to-school message from the President of the United States asking our children to stay in school and calling for them to work hard and to get the most out of their education. I read a comment from a woman who thought that the President’s speech, while it had a good overall message, was a bit much to put on children because it emphasized our dependence on them, as “the future.” Well, come on! These kids are our future. As we get older, it will be our children who will eventually become our caregivers. It will be our children who will become the future politicians, doctors, lawyers, police officers, and presidents who will be running this country. Yes! That is a huge responsibility, but I believe that it is incumbent on us, as parents, to prepare our kids for that responsibility and one way to do that is to actually tell them what their responsibilities will be.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe you should let a kid be a kid, but teaching our children early about being responsible and having good work ethics will impact their growth and carry over into their adulthood. I believe you should speak to your kids realistically about the future and about their potential roles in that future. We can, as parents, monitor and somewhat filter the information that our children encounter, but to completely blind them to the realities of life is doing more harm than good.

In my opinion President’s Obama’s message was clear. There was no underlying political message or secret plot to brainwash our kids. The President, as a parent, like every other parent in America has a common goal when it comes to our kids…and that is to ensure that they receive a good education and go on to live prosperous and fruitful lives. We as parents and as United States citizens need to take a really good look at ourselves and re-evaluate what is important for our children and our children’s future. What we do will have a huge impact on them later. How can we possibly be good examples for our kids if our leadership abilities are questionable or if we let prejudice and fear cloud our judgement? Please people, let’s look at the bigger picture here; it is alright to question your government’s actions, especially when it may affect your children. But, please do it with an open mind and rational thought because without that you are only perpetuating a cycle of ignorance and hysteria that will permeate every part of your child’s life. This is not the legacy I want to leave for my child. Why can't we just work a little harder to be better human beings, better parents and teachers, and better citizens so that our children’s futures are brighter than our own? Isn’t this the one thing that all of us want, the one thing that we all have in common?

If you would like to read President Obama’s back-to-school speech please follow the link below.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/MediaResources/PreparedSchoolRemarks/

Crimes of Passion?

Recently I have noticed a disturbing trend occurring in our society, the growing number of murder-suicides. It has been a while since my last post and I know that it may seem morbid to come back touching on this point but it is a subject that I feel needs to be addressed. What is our world coming to? The more I watch, read or listen to the news, the more depressed I get; every other story is about someone who felt compelled to take the life of another and then turn the gun, knife or whatever weapon they possessed on themselves.

Just recently, a man in Pittsburgh by the name of George Sodini decided that his life was so miserable because he could not find a woman. So, he decides to execute his "exit plan; a plan that consists of him going into a LA Fitness where he works-out and going ballistic, shooting up an exercise class full of women, killing three of the women before shooting and killing himself. Then there is the case of Christine Johnson Tyler and Gardell Tyler, a couple that had been married for 30 years but because of domestic abuse (the husband being the abuser) had become estranged. I guess Gardell just could not live without his wife so he decided that they would be together for eternity. He stopped by her house where she lived with their children and shot her several times, killing her and then killing himself with their children present in the house at the time. Well, I guess reality could not get any realer with the very publicized case of reality TV contestant Ryan Alexander Jenkins and his swimsuit model wife, Jasmine Fiore. Mr. Celebrity Wannabe brutally mutilated his wife, cutting off her fingers and pulling her teeth out then stuffing her body in a suitcase and throwing it away in a trash dumpster in Buena Park, California. He was later found dead in Canada from an apparent suicide by hanging.

So, I don't get it. What moves a person to do this? Is it spite? jealousy? envy? desperation? What drives a person to commit the ultimate crime and the ultimate sin (if you're a religious buff)? Now I don't want to sound non-sympathetic or cruel because, obviously, people who commit these crimes (crimes of passion I guess you'd call them) obviously have some serious issues and should seek psychological help. Honestly, though, when you hear about cases such as the ones above, you rarely hear that the person sought help for their mental distress prior to the act. For some unknown reason they just keep living life like it's normal for them to feel such angst, pain, disgust, anger...whatever it is that their feeling until their inner bomb detonates and the result is destruction of innocent, human life.

You know what?!? It really pisses me off! Mental/emotional distress or not, don't let yourself get to the point where you can no longer control your emotions or your actions. I believe that most people who commit crimes such as these are not completely mentally incapacitated; there is still some amount of sanity, clarity and morality that exist within them. Unless you are just completely out of your mind to the point where you don't even know your own name, there is something inside you, that if you listen closely enough, it will tell you that what you are thinking or doing is wrong when it comes to hurting another human being. The sad part is that most people don't stop to listen to the rational thoughts going through their heads, especially in heated moments when the anger is mounted and all they can do is act out. I have found though, like in the case of George Sodini, that some of these acts are premeditated, done with malice aforethought. So, if a person is lucid enough to think and plan through his/her attack, can you not honestly say that the possibility exists that they could have stopped themselves from committing the act? And, if there is a moment of "clarity" isn't it then pure selfishness that motivates them to go through with the devastating act regardless?

There is nothing wrong with seeking psychological help when your mental faculties are in disarray. It is so sad to know that there are individuals who refuse to get help when they know they need it. What's sadder is the fact that innocent people become victim to this and die because of other's selfishness and total disregard for human life. Let's be real, these acts are selfish because it is completely about soothing some inner demons that haunt the person committing them. These people don't really care about their victims because if they did they would not kill them.

So, I am about to say something that I know will sound really harsh and I am sure it is a reflection of my disgust for people who commit these heinous acts. I know there will be some who read this and become angry by my words but I am only stating my opinion. If someone is having inappropriate thoughts; thoughts that are irrational and regard harming another person, for whatever reason, they should seek psychological help to assist them with dealing with those feelings. If they refuse to get that assistance and argue that it cannot help them, they should not take their insanity out on some innocent love one or bystander. These are their issues not someone else's and other's lives should not be destroyed because people can't deal with the humps and bumps of life. I am not an advocate for suicide, I don't condone it, but if someone has to die, the only life taken should be of the one who commits the act. Allow the innocent to go on to experience their lives and enjoy whatever time they have left on this earth. All I can say is that if it just has to come down to some sort of "cide" let it be suicide instead of homicide.

I would hope, though, for anyone reading this and contemplating the worse...let it go; do the best you can in life and just try to enjoy what you have. We don't get everything we want in life but what we are given we should enjoy and not destroy.

Friendship - Beyond Words

So I was thinking about the whole concept of friendship today and it occurred to me that in my 37 years of life, that I have only recently learned the true meaning of friendship. I use to think, during my adolescent years, that friendship consisted of me and my BFF's spending every waking moment together, having sleep-overs, and hanging out at the mall and the infamous "shop-til-you-drop" fest that every teenage girl should experience with her girlfriends. Well that grew into my young adult years of college and all-night-until-the-bar-closes-lets-go-to-someones-house-to-continue-the-party days with the even bigger friendship posse. Yet, to reflect on those years now, so many of the so-called "friends" that I spent those special moments with, no longer exist in my friendship directory. It wasn't until my adulthood, when all the partying ceased, that I truly began to understand the true meaning of friendship.

You know when you are young, if you are lucky, you don't have to endure too many of life's tests right away. Hardship doesn't reach your doorstep too often until later in life and you're not forced to be concerned with the same "adult" issues as, say, your parents. For many of us, adolescence is an innocent time to be carefree and to just enjoy life in the moment.(However, I would be remissed if I didn't acknowledge how lucky I was, for the most part, to have a childhood like that considering there are so many children and young adults who must suffer a variety of travesties on a daily basis.) I have found that many of the friendships that I developed during my childhood did not last because they were based on childish things. As an adult, you go through a whole new set of mature experiences, therefore, I believe that the friends you acquire during your adulthood tend to be more permanent. (However,"beware" because you could possibly encounter a shape-shifter; one who you truly believe to be a life-long friend but turns out to be a child of Satan sent to earth to entangle you in grief and misery and ultimately try to destroy your life. I will share with you later the signs you are to watch out for when encountering this Judas.)

During my adolescence I know there were some individuals in my life that, if given the chance, would have become life long friends. However, I was so too immature to see them as such and I neglected to nurture those relationships. Today, looking back, I truly regret the loss of those individuals more so because I went on to make some of the gravest mistakes of my life by naively choosing some individuals as friends who later broke my heart. Now that I am an adult, I find myself looking back and wondering "what if?" I have actually made attempts to locate some of those individuals that I lost contact with, with the hopes that I might, possibly, rekindle those friendships.

I am sure that everyone has a different definition of what a "true friend" is but here are some of my definitions: True friends are those individuals that you might not see everyday; you may only see them once a year or every five years but you know that they are there for you whenever you need them to be. A true friend is someone who will tell the truth even when the truth hurts or someone that shadows you through the most difficult times of your life. A true friend is someone who is never envious of you and if they are envious, they are honest with you about those feelings but always continue to wish you happiness and prosperity. A true friend is someone who gives (their time, their heart, their attention, etc.) without you asking. I believe a true friendship consist of all the above but even more importantly consist of three other very important elements, LOYALTY (first and foremost), sincerity and RESPECT. Without these three elements, I truly believe that no real friendship can exist. I also believe that a healthy friendship requires being proactive and always having a honest and open line of communication.

As I stated before, there will always be wolves hiding in sheep's clothing; those individuals who promise you friendship but who only bring chaos and heartache to your life. These are individuals who harbor deep-seeded envy of you, who wish you luck but hope you fail (you know..."they smile in your face...they're the backstabbers"), and those who, in the end, reap all the benefits of your friendship yet never really contribute. I believe that everyone encounters one or more of these individuals in their lifetime, and while that is tragic, it is necessary to truly understand the real meaning of friendship and to be able to identify those who are truly friends. Unfortunately, life does not permit good without some sort of evil. Although it might sound cliche, the light and dark can not co-exist in one room; one will always overpower the other. Sooner or later, that wolf in sheep's clothing will be revealed and seen for their true self and when that happens I've learned not to blame myself for being duped, but to just chalk it up to a life experience and learn from it.

The true lesson that I have learned in my life journey about friendship is that true friendship is rare and when you find it, cherish it with all your might. Don't be lazy or unmotivated, let your friends know that you are there for them and that their presence in your life is important. Be a good friend by being honest, loyal and trustworthy. Our existence on this earth is so short, too short to be wasting time with "what ifs." Don't let petty grievances consume your time. Let those special people in your life know that you love them and that you care and don't just express it with words, back it up with action.

Sibling Rivalry

I'm sure I am not alone when I say, sometimes being the "baby" sister really sucks. I grew up the youngest of three kids; two girls and one boy. There is a pretty big age difference between me and my siblings; fifteen years between my brother and me and thirteen years between me and my sister. I used to dance around singing that I was a love child because my parents had me so late in life; only to be put in my place by my sister's sarcastic snort and retort that I was, in fact, a mistake...ha, ha, ha. I never resented my sister's backhanded remarks because I loved her and always thought her remarks were made in fun.

As a child, my brother was away in the service and our relationship never truly bloomed. There was this gap between my brother and I that just could never bridge. However, my sister and I were very close and I always looked up to her; she was like this idol to me; everything that I would strive to be as a young person and later as an adult. Maybe I was a little too naive to think that a human being could do no wrong, but in my eyes, my sister was the epitome of perfection and no one could tell me otherwise...not even my sister. As I got older and look back on it now I think she tried, in her own way, to jump off that pedestal that I placed her on without completely crumbling my world. As I got older, our perfect relationship seemed to become strained and the closeness that we once shared began to slowly fade. Somewhere in there my own independent thoughts began to prevail and I found that we were no longer connecting and agreeing on things that I thought we always saw eye to eye on. I found myself knee-deep in a continuous cycle of sarcasm, condescension and intolerance, all of which resonated from my sister onto me. What I thought were just growing pains between my her and I, I later realized went much deeper.

Now to give you a little background, my brother and sister were born and raised during a time when my parents did not make a lot of money, the family struggled financially and there were not many extravagances. I, on the other hand, being the late bloomer, came during a time when the family income had grown and my parents were able to give a little more. I can't say, without a doubt, that this wasn't the cause behind the strife that later plagued my relationship with my siblings. The whole "you got more than I did" mentality seems to be the going theme with a lot of families that followed the same "rags to better rags" path as my family followed. My family, also, like many other families out there, had disputes and dysfunction. Each of us walked away with baggage from our family's history and each of us was forced to take that baggage and live with it, deal with it, suffer because of it and try to reconcile our lives despite it.

What I believe has happened through the years is that my status as the "baby" has never been extinguished and with that I have become perpetually naive and inexperienced in the eyes of my older siblings, especially my sister. It seems that because of my age and my so-called "privileged" childhood, I could not possibly understand anything that SHE has suffered through or experienced as an adult. I could never speak intelligently on any subject that SHE is knowledgeable on because my life has not equaled hers in terms of heartache or struggles and No matter what pain or suffering I have experienced in my own life's journey, my status as "the baby" it seems will forever preclude me from being empathetic to HER trials and tribulations. I go to college and leave home, I get married and have a baby, I even buy my own home and yet none of this allows me any transition into adulthood. Sadly, I am now approaching the age of 40 and I am still dealing with the same belittling and intolerance; the only difference now is that my tolerance level for it has diminished.

I sometimes have to force myself to put things into perspective and not let it get to me. I repeat in my head that this is not my problem, it's her problem, but that doesn't make the interaction any easier when I am drowning in the smugness of her under-the-breath remarks, sarcastic smirks or blatant indignation. So, what do I do? There is obviously some deep rooted resentment there that I have tried to address only to be shut down.

I don't want to lose the relationship that I have with my sister but I understand that it must change in order for "us" to survive. Well, if I follow my mom's advice I might as well accept the status quo because "family can be a difficult pill to swallow but it's one that you will have to take for the rest of your life." I don't know if I agree with that statement. Yes, my sister will always be my family but if the resentment continues to grow, so will the distance and then what will be left?.... two people who share the same DNA but nothing else and how sad is that?

I want my sister to understand that I am no longer a child and the only child eyes that I look out from are my daughter's. I want her to understand that, although my childhood and childhood sufferings were different than hers that they are, in no way, less significant. I want her to know that I can relate and empathize with her life difficulties although my journey through life and personal experiences may have been different. Most importantly, I want her to swallow something that she has fed me for years and that is that there are so many people in this world whose only goal in life is to cut you down; it is family's job to build you up, to guide you and to help you to weather the storms of your life. So, I have decided that I will fight through this, I will brave this storm in hopes that my sister will, one day, see and respect me for the woman that I have become and revel in the fact that she, herself, helped mold the woman I am today. I will hold strong because I love my sister and life is too short to allow petty differences pull you apart from the ones you love. I will do this for me and for my sister because, after all, we are family.

Goodbye Camille

A few days ago I lost a friend to cancer. What a devastating blow for me considering I had just reunited with her after more than a decade of being apart. Her name was Camille and our friendship began in the halls of our fondly remembered high school, Morgan Park. When my class graduated I remember many of us naively promising to "KIP" (keep in touch) and stay friends forever; not knowing that life did not always permit fulfillment of such promises. You go your separate ways, go to college and/or start new careers, meet new people, start families and before you know it 10 years have passed and you have not spoken to half the people you went to high school with. If you're lucky though, you will have that one special person who was looked upon by your high school class as the ultimate leader and (in my case "she") will take on the difficult and sometimes tedious task of bringing you and your former classmates back together again....this is what we refer to as The Class Reunion (thanks Kaita).

Excuse my tangent, I digress...Camille and I weren't BFF's in high school but we had a mutual respect for one another; I was shy, quiet and subdued and Camille was loud, boisterous and sometimes bordering on obnoxious but never phony or fake, Camille was just.....Camille. Almost a year ago, before the birth of my daughter, my husband caught up with Camille via our high school alumni website. When he told me that she had cancer and was in the later stages, the only thing that ran through my mind was...."Damn!" How could I let so much time go by? Now instead of celebrating this great occasion of being reunited once again; it was overshadowed with this sadness and dread....well that's what I thought.

Camille and I had agreed to meet and catch-up and as I approached her home I felt anxious, what would I say? how would I act? would I break-down and cry? which is "so me" to do...the overemotional drama queen that I am. I felt a bit queasy and my hands were clammy as I rang her bell. Then, in an instant, the door opened and all the fear and anxiety was gone and overtaken with this huge smile and drowning embrace. I could not get in the door quick enough before Camille was jumping up and down and screaming my name and spitting her enthusiasm at seeing me after so many years. Where was the anxiety? the sadness and grief?....where was the cancer? Camille may have had cancer but the cancer definitely did not have Camille.

As we conversed about old times, I could not believe how unbelievably "together" this woman was. Here she was with stage four cancer, a single mom raising her teenage son on the day that she had decided to shave her head instead of watching her hair fall out because of the chemo and she was jubilant and vibrant and hopeful. How could I not be inspired by that? How could I embrace sadness in the midst of so much faith and life. Camille taught me that day to live my life everyday like it was the last. To love big, to laugh big and to live big. She said that when she found out that she had cancer she vowed that she would continue to live her life as if she did not have cancer and she did. She fought it but did not let a day go by without enjoying her son, her family...her life.

That visit was the last time I saw Camille but my memories of her will be of her booming voice bouncing off the walls of our high school hallways and that special day when we were reunited and laughed as we remembered the past and shared our hopes and dreams of the future. Now normally an event like this would cause me to begin to reflect and obsess on my own mortality but that's not what Camille would have wanted. Camille would say it's not about how you die but about how you lived. I can hear her now..."Live big Syl...live big."

My last visit with Camille, while bittersweet, was definitely eye-opening. With that knowledge that we aren't promised tomorrow, shouldn't we be behooved to live everyday as if it is our last? No more putting off until tomorrow what we can do today, no more holding petty grudges, no more allowing fear to stop us from fulfilling our dreams. I am sure as a human I will falter from time to time on living my life by these practices, but I sure as hell will try. LIVE BIG!

Thank you Camille. I will miss you.