So I was thinking about the whole concept of friendship today and it occurred to me that in my 37 years of life, that I have only recently learned the true meaning of friendship. I use to think, during my adolescent years, that friendship consisted of me and my BFF's spending every waking moment together, having sleep-overs, and hanging out at the mall and the infamous "shop-til-you-drop" fest that every teenage girl should experience with her girlfriends. Well that grew into my young adult years of college and all-night-until-the-bar-closes-lets-go-to-someones-house-to-continue-the-party days with the even bigger friendship posse. Yet, to reflect on those years now, so many of the so-called "friends" that I spent those special moments with, no longer exist in my friendship directory. It wasn't until my adulthood, when all the partying ceased, that I truly began to understand the true meaning of friendship.
You know when you are young, if you are lucky, you don't have to endure too many of life's tests right away. Hardship doesn't reach your doorstep too often until later in life and you're not forced to be concerned with the same "adult" issues as, say, your parents. For many of us, adolescence is an innocent time to be carefree and to just enjoy life in the moment.(However, I would be remissed if I didn't acknowledge how lucky I was, for the most part, to have a childhood like that considering there are so many children and young adults who must suffer a variety of travesties on a daily basis.) I have found that many of the friendships that I developed during my childhood did not last because they were based on childish things. As an adult, you go through a whole new set of mature experiences, therefore, I believe that the friends you acquire during your adulthood tend to be more permanent. (However,"beware" because you could possibly encounter a shape-shifter; one who you truly believe to be a life-long friend but turns out to be a child of Satan sent to earth to entangle you in grief and misery and ultimately try to destroy your life. I will share with you later the signs you are to watch out for when encountering this Judas.)
During my adolescence I know there were some individuals in my life that, if given the chance, would have become life long friends. However, I was so too immature to see them as such and I neglected to nurture those relationships. Today, looking back, I truly regret the loss of those individuals more so because I went on to make some of the gravest mistakes of my life by naively choosing some individuals as friends who later broke my heart. Now that I am an adult, I find myself looking back and wondering "what if?" I have actually made attempts to locate some of those individuals that I lost contact with, with the hopes that I might, possibly, rekindle those friendships.
I am sure that everyone has a different definition of what a "true friend" is but here are some of my definitions: True friends are those individuals that you might not see everyday; you may only see them once a year or every five years but you know that they are there for you whenever you need them to be. A true friend is someone who will tell the truth even when the truth hurts or someone that shadows you through the most difficult times of your life. A true friend is someone who is never envious of you and if they are envious, they are honest with you about those feelings but always continue to wish you happiness and prosperity. A true friend is someone who gives (their time, their heart, their attention, etc.) without you asking. I believe a true friendship consist of all the above but even more importantly consist of three other very important elements, LOYALTY (first and foremost), sincerity and RESPECT. Without these three elements, I truly believe that no real friendship can exist. I also believe that a healthy friendship requires being proactive and always having a honest and open line of communication.
As I stated before, there will always be wolves hiding in sheep's clothing; those individuals who promise you friendship but who only bring chaos and heartache to your life. These are individuals who harbor deep-seeded envy of you, who wish you luck but hope you fail (you know..."they smile in your face...they're the backstabbers"), and those who, in the end, reap all the benefits of your friendship yet never really contribute. I believe that everyone encounters one or more of these individuals in their lifetime, and while that is tragic, it is necessary to truly understand the real meaning of friendship and to be able to identify those who are truly friends. Unfortunately, life does not permit good without some sort of evil. Although it might sound cliche, the light and dark can not co-exist in one room; one will always overpower the other. Sooner or later, that wolf in sheep's clothing will be revealed and seen for their true self and when that happens I've learned not to blame myself for being duped, but to just chalk it up to a life experience and learn from it.
The true lesson that I have learned in my life journey about friendship is that true friendship is rare and when you find it, cherish it with all your might. Don't be lazy or unmotivated, let your friends know that you are there for them and that their presence in your life is important. Be a good friend by being honest, loyal and trustworthy. Our existence on this earth is so short, too short to be wasting time with "what ifs." Don't let petty grievances consume your time. Let those special people in your life know that you love them and that you care and don't just express it with words, back it up with action.
You know when you are young, if you are lucky, you don't have to endure too many of life's tests right away. Hardship doesn't reach your doorstep too often until later in life and you're not forced to be concerned with the same "adult" issues as, say, your parents. For many of us, adolescence is an innocent time to be carefree and to just enjoy life in the moment.(However, I would be remissed if I didn't acknowledge how lucky I was, for the most part, to have a childhood like that considering there are so many children and young adults who must suffer a variety of travesties on a daily basis.) I have found that many of the friendships that I developed during my childhood did not last because they were based on childish things. As an adult, you go through a whole new set of mature experiences, therefore, I believe that the friends you acquire during your adulthood tend to be more permanent. (However,"beware" because you could possibly encounter a shape-shifter; one who you truly believe to be a life-long friend but turns out to be a child of Satan sent to earth to entangle you in grief and misery and ultimately try to destroy your life. I will share with you later the signs you are to watch out for when encountering this Judas.)
During my adolescence I know there were some individuals in my life that, if given the chance, would have become life long friends. However, I was so too immature to see them as such and I neglected to nurture those relationships. Today, looking back, I truly regret the loss of those individuals more so because I went on to make some of the gravest mistakes of my life by naively choosing some individuals as friends who later broke my heart. Now that I am an adult, I find myself looking back and wondering "what if?" I have actually made attempts to locate some of those individuals that I lost contact with, with the hopes that I might, possibly, rekindle those friendships.
I am sure that everyone has a different definition of what a "true friend" is but here are some of my definitions: True friends are those individuals that you might not see everyday; you may only see them once a year or every five years but you know that they are there for you whenever you need them to be. A true friend is someone who will tell the truth even when the truth hurts or someone that shadows you through the most difficult times of your life. A true friend is someone who is never envious of you and if they are envious, they are honest with you about those feelings but always continue to wish you happiness and prosperity. A true friend is someone who gives (their time, their heart, their attention, etc.) without you asking. I believe a true friendship consist of all the above but even more importantly consist of three other very important elements, LOYALTY (first and foremost), sincerity and RESPECT. Without these three elements, I truly believe that no real friendship can exist. I also believe that a healthy friendship requires being proactive and always having a honest and open line of communication.
As I stated before, there will always be wolves hiding in sheep's clothing; those individuals who promise you friendship but who only bring chaos and heartache to your life. These are individuals who harbor deep-seeded envy of you, who wish you luck but hope you fail (you know..."they smile in your face...they're the backstabbers"), and those who, in the end, reap all the benefits of your friendship yet never really contribute. I believe that everyone encounters one or more of these individuals in their lifetime, and while that is tragic, it is necessary to truly understand the real meaning of friendship and to be able to identify those who are truly friends. Unfortunately, life does not permit good without some sort of evil. Although it might sound cliche, the light and dark can not co-exist in one room; one will always overpower the other. Sooner or later, that wolf in sheep's clothing will be revealed and seen for their true self and when that happens I've learned not to blame myself for being duped, but to just chalk it up to a life experience and learn from it.
The true lesson that I have learned in my life journey about friendship is that true friendship is rare and when you find it, cherish it with all your might. Don't be lazy or unmotivated, let your friends know that you are there for them and that their presence in your life is important. Be a good friend by being honest, loyal and trustworthy. Our existence on this earth is so short, too short to be wasting time with "what ifs." Don't let petty grievances consume your time. Let those special people in your life know that you love them and that you care and don't just express it with words, back it up with action.
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