One of the highlights of my day is to come home and see my baby girl smiling back at me. I walk into the room and she lights up and then I light up. I don't think I've ever felt so much love as the love that comes from my daughter; she gives it freely, unsparingly and with vigor and true enthusiasm. There are days when I have come home from work just feeling run down and lifeless and as soon as I walk through that door and see Sophia's face, I instantly feel peace and happiness; the peace part is kind of funny considering that I really don't get any peace during the hours that my daughter is awake....but it's so worth it.
I have a very close friend who is expecting her first baby and she emailed me the other day and said that she was "scared to death" of becoming a mother. I could totally relate to what she is feeling because I was in her shoes prior to Sophie's birth. The anxiety over whether I was "truly" ready to be a parent in all senses of the word...ready. I kept having these weird dreams that I had forgotten to feed my babies for days and I just woke up one morning and remembered that I hadn't fed her....in days. I would wake up in sweats. God bless my husband, who did his best at squashing any ridiculous fears that I may have had, while trying to process and reconcile his own fears. You know, I have heard horror stories from some women whose husbands or significant others were completely absent mentally, emotionally, and physically during their pregnancies and I feel so thankful that Tom was not one of those men.
Tom was truly involved during all stages of my pregnancy. He went to almost every doctor's visit, he'd make those midnight runs for me when I had severe cravings, he rode the hormonal roller coaster with me...up and down...uppppp and downnnn and, most importantly (at least for me), he communicated. I'm a talker and a dreamer and Tom would sit and talk to me for hours about us becoming parents, about my fears and about his fears, etc., etc. He was great and I don't think I've told him enough what it meant to me that he was there. He was also the one holding my hand and coaching me through my delivery which I KNOW I could not have gotten through without him. If you are lucky enough to have someone in your life who is willing to walk this journey with you, let them lead sometimes. Let others help you because you will need it. Don't be afraid to sit down and surrender and let those who love you...help you.
Anyway, for me, the motherly instinct instantly kicked in as soon as Sophia was born; I felt it right away, the anxiety of whether she was ok, the need to hold her and protect her from the world and make sure she had everything she needed to survive. I, instantly, knew that it was my job to make sure that this little baby would grow up happy and healthy and I knew that I wanted that job. I didn't know if I was completely ready or prepared for it, but I knew that this was MY job and I wanted it. This would probably be the only job, in my lifetime, that I would actually welcome and truly love.
So to my friend, who is now only a few months away of becoming a brand new mommy to a baby boy (just found out today Yayyyyy!) I say...be happy, enjoy motherhood (the good, the bad and the ugly) because there is nothing like it. One day you will turn around and have this amazing, overwhelming realization that you are a mommy and as scary as that can be, there is no other feeling like it in this world. There will be days when you feel like you are going insane, when you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock but trust me...even those days you will come to love. It's the terrifying, never ending roller coaster that you will to love to ride. I have had an amazing ride thus far and I look forward to the numerous rides yet to come. I can tell you that your life will be enriched by your son's presence and he will bring you joy like you never felt before. Good luck sweetie and be the great mom that I know you will be.
Covid weight gain, how much did you gain~
3 years ago
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