Mommy's Home - Advice to a Friend (and Soon-To-Be-Mommy)

One of the highlights of my day is to come home and see my baby girl smiling back at me. I walk into the room and she lights up and then I light up. I don't think I've ever felt so much love as the love that comes from my daughter; she gives it freely, unsparingly and with vigor and true enthusiasm. There are days when I have come home from work just feeling run down and lifeless and as soon as I walk through that door and see Sophia's face, I instantly feel peace and happiness; the peace part is kind of funny considering that I really don't get any peace during the hours that my daughter is awake....but it's so worth it.

I have a very close friend who is expecting her first baby and she emailed me the other day and said that she was "scared to death" of becoming a mother. I could totally relate to what she is feeling because I was in her shoes prior to Sophie's birth. The anxiety over whether I was "truly" ready to be a parent in all senses of the word...ready. I kept having these weird dreams that I had forgotten to feed my babies for days and I just woke up one morning and remembered that I hadn't fed her....in days. I would wake up in sweats. God bless my husband, who did his best at squashing any ridiculous fears that I may have had, while trying to process and reconcile his own fears. You know, I have heard horror stories from some women whose husbands or significant others were completely absent mentally, emotionally, and physically during their pregnancies and I feel so thankful that Tom was not one of those men.

Tom was truly involved during all stages of my pregnancy. He went to almost every doctor's visit, he'd make those midnight runs for me when I had severe cravings, he rode the hormonal roller coaster with me...up and down...uppppp and downnnn and, most importantly (at least for me),  he communicated. I'm a talker and a dreamer and Tom would sit and talk to me for hours about us becoming parents, about my fears and about his fears, etc., etc. He was great and I don't think I've told him enough what it meant to me that he was there. He was also the one holding my hand and coaching me through my delivery which I KNOW I could not have gotten through without him. If you are lucky enough to have someone in your life who is willing to walk this journey with you, let them lead sometimes. Let others help you because you will need it. Don't be afraid to sit down and surrender and let those who love you...help you.

Anyway, for me, the motherly instinct instantly kicked in as soon as Sophia was born; I felt it right away, the anxiety of whether she was ok, the need to hold her and protect her from the world and make sure she had everything she needed to survive. I, instantly, knew that it was my job to make sure that this little baby would grow up happy and healthy and I knew that I wanted that job. I didn't know if I was completely ready or prepared for it, but I knew that this was MY job and I wanted it. This would probably be the only job, in my lifetime, that I would actually welcome and truly love.

So to my friend, who is now only a few months away of becoming a brand new mommy to a baby boy (just found out today Yayyyyy!) I say...be happy, enjoy motherhood (the good, the bad and the ugly) because there is nothing like it. One day you will turn around and have this amazing, overwhelming realization that you are a mommy and as scary as that can be, there is no other feeling like it in this world. There will be days when you feel like you are going insane, when you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock but trust me...even those days you will come to love. It's the terrifying, never ending roller coaster that you will to love to ride. I have had an amazing ride thus far and I look forward to the numerous rides yet to come. I can tell you that your life will be enriched by your son's presence and he will bring you joy like you never felt before. Good luck sweetie and be the great mom that I know you will be.

On The Go Go Go!!!

My little Sophinator has been on the go lately. Now that she has mastered the art of walking (and running) nothing stops her. Play dates, birthday parties...this kid schedule is full...she has more of a social life than her mom and dad.

She cracks me up with her silly little faces. Sophie is the ultimate comedian.

Soph is such a little goofball! She loves the swing.

 

Soph rides in her cousins corvette

I told Tom..."Oh boy, you know what this means now...

she's gonna want one in hot pink."

Enjoying a little wagon ride with her buddy Lance

Happy Mother's Day

This is my second Mother's Day as an official mom. Motherhood has meant so many things to me; it has meant maturity, responsibility, bliss, fear, anticipation, unconditional love, anxiety, pure happiness and the list goes on and on and on. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I really could not see myself as a mom or at least it wasn't foremost in my mind. I liked kids but, at that time, I could honestly say that I didn't want any (a blessing to my parents) but I always knew that down the line, I would.

It was until Tom and I began dating and got married that I really had a desire to have a child. I knew I was with the person that I wanted to spend my life with and share the responsibility and joy of raising a child. I had previous boyfriends that, in my own immaturity, I thought were "the ones" that I wanted to marry and have kids with but let me just say "thank God for divine intervention." Raising kids is probably "the" most important job there is and it's not one to take lightly. I would never recommend it to someone who was not strong of heart because it can be a thankless job and you have to really want it.

Sophia was dearly wanted yet unexpected. She came during a very tumultuous time in my life, but again, divine intervention was definitely at play. I have grown in so many ways since this little being has blessed my life. I can sincerely say that I didn't truly know love until I knew Sophia...she is my day and night and all in between. I love her as I could love nothing else. Of course, I love my husband and my family and friends, but a mothers love for a child is altogether different. I could never understand my parents and why they put up with so much crap from me and my siblings...well now I know.

I don't want to belittle what great things and great human beings fathers are, but mothers have a special gift...they have the gift of opening their souls and releasing life into the world. The bonds between mothers and their children are different for just that reason because the mother is the bearer of life. Now, we know that that life could not be without the father but the mother has to nurture that life from its conception and she is the one that feels and experiences every initial movement of growth. How lucky are we?!?! Also, I want to emphasize that when I say "mother" or "father" I am referring to those individuals who not only create the life but who are a strong and positive presence in those lives throughout. Anyone can create life...what you do next matters just as much. Oh, and don't let me forget kudos to those mom and dads out there who didn't create the life, for whatever unfortunate reason, but who choose to adopt and raise that life as if it were truly their own.

Anyway, since I have become a mom, my life has completely changed, for the better. It has not always been easy and there have been many a night that I've cried myself to sleep wondering if I'm doing right by my little one, but when I wake up in the morning and see her smiling at me, I know it's all worth it.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in my life and to all mothers everywhere.

Welcome Home Rosie

Ok, call us crazy but Tom and I decided to adopt another dog. Yes! we are a bit insane but our new addition, Rosie, has now made us a family of 6 including our dog Sammy and cat Charleez which we lovingly refer to as Meow Meow. Rosie is a lab/staff mix and she has a very sweet and fairly calm demeanor unlike the previous dog we looked at that bounced on Sammy's head like a cartoon character at the doggy meet and greet. Needless to say, Sammy was none-to-happy about that one, so we had to go with MY first choice. I can just hear the family members now saying "you did WHAT!?!" Of course we are still wrapping our heads around raising our daughter, Sophie, who is now at the sweet age of 15 months with the terrible 2's approaching FAST!!!. I think they should refer to it as the terrible 1-5's...6 being the golden age of less terribleness...I'm totally fooling myself, right?

We just recently got through Sammy's transition into independence. He, too, was adopted as a pup and although he also had a mild demeanor (not a barker or a biter) we did have somewhat of a difficult time potty training Sammy. We eventually had to crate train him, which is how we should have started but it all turned out for the best because Sammy has full reign of the house now. As I was signing the adoption papers for Rosie, I could not help but ask my self, silently, "ok, why do I want to go through this again and with a new baby on top of it?...oh yeah, that's right...because I'm insane." We couldn't help ourselves with Rosie, though, she was brought into the shelter's veterinarian after being hit by a bus and her owners never returned to claim her. Well, their loss our gain.

And the research begins again, this time on how to introduce your new pup to your old pup and your baby and your home and your garden and......well you get the point. We found some good training advice from this article called Guide to Introducing Your New Dog Into Your Current Dog Family; a sure reader for anyone whose nervous about the introduction of new pets into the family and needs a little preparatory advice.

Well, all we can do is take this one day at a time but I'm so happy we got our Rosie; I just hope she will be happy in her new home.

The Baby Eating Blues

So, Sophia is now 15 months and it's a joy to watch her grow. She's doing new stuff every day and Tom and I find ourselves looking at each other and saying "where did she learn that?" She is starting to pick up on words and the babble conversations that she has with us and with herself, leave you with a sore jaws from smiling so much. However, their have been some other parts of her growth that haven't been so pleasurable such as the tantrums and difficulty getting her to eat. Tom and I find ourselves pulling our hair out trying to figure out what to do to get Sophie to eat and believe me Tom cannot afford to lose anymore hair. I think Sophie's pickiness and downright stubbornness when it comes to eating is probably more disturbing for Tom than it is for me. I understand that children are going to go through phases throughout their development, so after having a little talk with Sophie's doctor and him reassuring us that this is a natural occurrence, I started feeling less worried. Tom, on the other hand, is really starting to stress over this whole eating thing or should I say not eating thing. All I can do is to continue to stress for him that this is just a phase and that we just need to be more creative in getting her to eat but he worries so much.

For Sophia, I think it's a combination of her just being picky about what she wants to eat but also the fact that she's teething. For anyone who has ever had mouth pain, you know how difficult it was to eat when you know that every chew will be accompanied by excruciating pain. So, at this point Tom and I know that we cannot force Sophia to eat and we are actively searching for creative ideas on how to get her to eat during this development period. I've found some interesting ideas on the Internet, some of which came from this website, http://www.thesneakychef.com/. There are some really good ideas here about how to sneak-in nutrition into the yummy foods that your children like to eat.

So far, Sophie's doctor and every article, blog and book I've read regarding this issue have been pretty consistent. Each one says this is just a phase that almost every child Sophie's age or around her age experience. So, I guess this is just one ride that the hubby and I are going to have sit and ride out. I don't know who will give me more grey hairs...the hubby or the baby...we'll see.

Here are some other links to interesting articles dealing with our picky little eaters and ways to help reduce the parents suffering.

• Picky, Picky, When Your Toddler Won't Eat
• Why Won't My Toddler Eat
• My Toddler Won't Eat Anything! Coping with Picky Eaters and Fussy Kids